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Domina_Mendicium
read my profile sign my guestbook Name: Lady Lies Gender: Female Expertise: writing Occupation: none Industry: none Message: message me Website: visit my website AIM: martiniwaylover Member Since: 7/17/2006

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Sunday, August 27, 2006

fuck it.

im shutting down xanga. i dont even write on this anymore

and not like anyone cares anymore

2:43 AM - 5 views - 4 eprops - 9 comments - email it

Saturday, August 26, 2006

	I KNOW WHAT THE BLACK PARADE IS!~ AND I LOVE MCR
	6:19 PM - 1 view - add eprops - add comments - email it

Monday, August 21, 2006

	fuck it im shutting down both xangas. everyone has a fucking myspace. i guess i will too. even though it will suck EDIT! well i guess ill leave this one up. but im shutting down the other one
	8:16 PM - 1 view - 2 eprops - 2 comments - email it

Sunday, August 20, 2006

	photos...they make sense if you pretend their for a fashion mag this one is like a fashion mag picture...i thot anyway this one could be an advertisement for a pair of shoes and i just love this photo, cuz its all 'dirty deeds in the car' sorry i know their all just one pair of shoes, but i was testing out with crazy patterns and scary ol' depressed me :D
	9:58 PM - 1 view - add eprops - add comments - email it

Friday, August 18, 2006

oh what a feeling to hate oneself.

well that wound i made has made one of the thickest, darkest, biggest self inflicted scar i've ever had. its at least an inch long (not very long compared to most cuts) but almost an half an inch thick, and raised off my skin. it will leave a scar. im sure. my favorite part.

i cut a few times on my breasts again. it itches in class. i think i will go back to cutting on my arm. no one at school cares, and my mom knows but is scared to get me a therapist in case i go back to timberlawn. twisted indeed.

i feel like sometimes im having the best time of my life. and at others i ask 'who the fuck are you fooling? you know who you are. you arent maddie, this person who hangs out with everyone so easily. you're the character you write about. Marti. Dia. Domina. all in one. you are reckless, hopeless, and depressed. you are no one.'

and i honestly believe it.

i think to myself 'he is so gorgeous, he would like me if i was skinny. if i didn't eat lunch today, he would notice and like me.' so i dont eat. for 3 days in a row. i think 'i would do better in this class if i took my stress out on myself.' so i do.

maybe i should be in theatre. i am an actress. and im in the play of my life, im the star, and im portraying a completley fake character. and the audience loves it.

they love me.

yet i hate myself.

oh what a feeling to hate oneself.

11:44 PM - 11 views - 2 eprops - 2 comments - email it

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photos...they make sense if you pretend their for a fashion mag